Five Gold Rings **
Almeida Theatre, London N1,
020 7359 4404
Ends January 17

by Robert Core-Langton, The Daily Express, December 26, 2003

One of the great things about the current theatre scene is that you can see the rising Hollywood stars. Take Damian Lewis (star of Band Of Brothers) who has just made a film with Jennifer Lopez and Robert Redford, now here he is filling in with a sport of theatre. Not that I can recommend the show, sadly.

This is about Henry (David Calder) who lives alone in an unnamed desert which could be Las Vegas or some mythical place you only get in weird plays. Anyway, it's Christmas and his sons Daniel (Damian Lewis) and Simon (Will Keen) have turned up with their wives for a family get-together.

Before you can say Santa, Daniel is having sex with Simon's wife Miranda (Helen McCrory), Daniel's wife (Indira Varma) is naturally none-too-happy. Skeletons soon come waltzing out of the cupboard as the plot thickens with all sorts of family nastiness, including blackmail, debt and incest.

What makes the whole thing so bizarre is the verse-form it's written in. At first I thought the entire cast had been drinking!

The actors walk on and talk baby language ("I'm not wanting you no more") and use elaborate puns ("your youandus uterus") in a stage poetry that's pretentious and painful.

The strange thing is that Joanna Laurens is obviously a good dramatist and the cast is terrific. Maybe out there somewhere there's a market for this cutting-edge new-verse drama but to use the language of the play, my cup of tea definitely this isn't.

Caption: Too close: Daniel and Miranda take the family get-together literally.