Daily Express, probably 2004

Baby suspicions were aroused the other day when our spy spotted actor Damian Lewis (of The Forsyte Saga and Band Of Brothers fame) out shopping for baby clothes with a blonde companion.

Red-haired Damian is on good terms with his blonde ex-girlfriend Katie Razzall and has since been linked with a former girlfriend of Neil Morrissey, TV producer Georgina Hurford-Jones, who is also blonde. He and his companion were, we hear, busy surveying the shelves at baby boutique Sasti on London's Portobello Road, the preferred choice of Madonna and Guy Ritchie.

So can we hear the patter of tiny, freckled feet? Apparently not.

"I don't know what he was doing there but he is most definitely not having a baby," declares his bemused agent.